You have more power to shape your world than you realize. Sometimes, the difference between where you are and where you want to be comes down to one simple thing: asking.
I learned this the other day when my wife, Monica, mentioned she has 64 five-star reviews on her podcast. That blew me away, because she doesn’t usually talk about asking for reviews. Then it hit me, she asks for reviews on every episode, as part of her normal outro. And people respond when you ask.
It’s a lesson I want to share with you: if you don’t ask, you don’t receive.
Why do so many of us hesitate to ask for what we want? Whether it’s in business or life, there’s a nagging fear that we might be a nuisance. We convince ourselves that if the other person really wanted to help or support us, they’d just do it without us asking. But here’s the truth, if you don’t say anything, most people assume you don’t need anything.
Think about it like this. If a team member doesn’t say they’re unhappy or want more money, a manager might just think all is fine. But that’s not always the case. People don’t read minds. They need us to be clear about what we want. As the saying goes, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Wayne Gretzky nailed it.
I’ve realized that asking isn’t just about stating a need; it’s about creating an exchange of value. For example, when Monica asks listeners to leave a review, she’s not just begging for stars. She’s inviting people to give feedback if they found value in the episode. It’s a simple “if this helped you, would you help me in return?” That’s fair. That’s human.
Here’s something else I noticed. People don’t always leave reviews because they forget, or because the timing isn’t right. Maybe they’re listening while running or driving, and the thought slips away. Hearing the ask repeatedly helps catch them at the right moment. It’s a subtle reminder, planted gently until it blooms.
This gave me a new perspective. We often think others act as we do. I don’t usually leave reviews myself, not because I don’t want to, but because the moment never feels right. But when someone asks, consistently and kindly, it makes a difference. It makes room for action.
So what’s the takeaway for you?
Start asking. Start asking boldly and clearly. Whether it’s for a favor, feedback, or support, don’t assume others know what you want. Tell them. Show them why it matters. Explain the value they’ll get or the difference they’ll make.
But here’s the catch, make sure you’ve given value first. Earn that right. Provide so much goodness, insight, help, or whatever you do that when you ask, it feels natural and deserved. That way, your ask isn’t a burden. It’s a fair trade.
You don’t have to script it like you’re making a sales pitch. Just be real. Be honest. Be clear. And yes, ask more than once. Persistence, without pressure, is key.
I’m speaking from experience because, frankly, my show, King Moves, has been going for over 100 episodes, and we’ve barely asked for reviews. That’s changing now. We know the power of a simple ask.
In your own life, what’s one thing you need that you haven’t asked for yet? What opportunity, connection, or resource is just one question away? Maybe you’re holding back because you don’t want to bother someone or you think you should handle it alone. Or maybe you simply forgot to ask because it never crossed your mind.
Remember, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you,” as the Bible says. It’s not just about faith, it’s a practical truth. You have to put yourself out there.
This week, try this: deliver value first, then ask for what you want. Repeat the ask as needed until the right moment hits. Watch what happens.
If you found this helpful, I’d love it if you left a review for this episode of King Moves. It helps the show reach more leaders who need to hear these ideas. And if you want to hear the whole conversation about asking with real stories and honest talk, listen to the full episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pePu_ELSow
Your next breakthrough might just be one ask away.
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