There's a phrase that you’ve probably heard countless times: “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” This saying can stir up some mixed feelings, especially if you, like me, once held a rather stubborn belief that independence was the only way to success. Reflecting on my journey, I've come to realize that my relationship with this saying has evolved dramatically, and it can do the same for you.
A Personal Revelation
In my teens and early twenties, I was adamant about proving I could figure everything out on my own. I thought, “Why do I need anyone else? I’ll just learn what I need to know!” While there’s definitely merit in self-reliance, this mindset can lead to isolation. It wasn’t until I began to engage with others and see the value they brought to my life that my perspective shifted. Collaboration and connection became clear avenues for growth, inspiration, and opportunity.
The Utility of Relationships
One insightful perspective I encountered stated, “We only hang around people because they’re useful.” Initially, this struck me as harsh or even transactional. However, when I delved deeper, I realized the truth in it. The people we choose to surround ourselves with offer something valuable—whether it's support, knowledge, or simply good vibes. When we engage with those who uplift us or challenge us positively, we’re fostering an environment ripe for personal and professional growth.
This brings us to the concept of KLT—Know, Like, and Trust. The stronger our KLT factor with someone, the more likely we are to reach out for help or collaborate. So, instead of viewing relationships as mere transactions, consider them as essential building blocks in your journey toward success.
The Importance of Asking for Help
Despite recognizing the value of relationships, I still struggle with asking for help. It’s almost comical—here I am, helping others left and right, yet I hesitate to extend my hand when I need support. This isn’t just a personal hurdle; it can hinder not only my growth but also the opportunities for others to help and connect.
Imagine the feeling you get when someone asks you for help. It’s rewarding, right? We all want to feel needed and valued. By withholding our requests for assistance, we might be robbing others of that joy. So, I’ve made it a goal to be more intentional about seeking help when I need it. If I can provide value to others, surely they’d be eager to do the same for me!
Building Your Network
If you’re struggling with the notion that you need others to get ahead, here are a few takeaways to consider:
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Be Useful: Look for ways to add value to those around you. This could be through knowledge-sharing, offering support, or simply being a positive presence.
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Join Tribes: Engage with communities that resonate with your interests and goals. Be it business groups, sports teams, or local organizations, these tribes can provide essential support and connections.
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Ask for Help: Don’t shy away from reaching out. Your network exists to support you, and it’s okay to lean on them when you need assistance.
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Reflect on Your Day: Incorporate a daily practice of asking yourself, “How have I been useful to someone today?” and “How have I allowed someone to be useful to me?” This reflection can enhance your awareness of the reciprocal nature of relationships.
Final Thoughts
The phrase “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” isn’t just a cliché; it’s a reminder of the powerful role that relationships play in our lives. As we foster connections, let’s remember to offer and seek help, creating a cycle of support and growth. So, go out there, be useful, and don’t hesitate to ask for help. It’s a gift to both you and those who care about you!
Listen to the full podcast episode where Justin King and I discuss this concept here.
Until next time, stay inspired!
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