"Your mess is your message. Your brokenness is the link to your brilliance."
It's a powerful idea that I think resonates with a lot of us, whether we’re in business, personal development, or just navigating life. We often want to hide our struggles, sweeping them under the rug out of embarrassment or fear of judgment. But what if those messy, chaotic, broken parts of our lives are actually the key to connecting with others and achieving greatness?
I heard this phrase recently—your mess is your message—and it really hit home. We’ve all made mistakes, faced hardships, and experienced struggles. We try to push those experiences away because we don’t want anyone to see our flaws. Yet, when we share those raw, real moments, we become relatable. We show the world that we’re human, and more importantly, we show others that they can overcome their struggles too. This is especially crucial if you’re in any field that involves teaching, coaching, or public speaking. Vulnerability is the bridge that connects you with your audience on a deeper level.
In fact, vulnerability is a superpower. When we lead with our accolades and success stories, people might admire us, but it can also feel distant and unrelatable. However, when we dig deep and share our lowest moments—the times when we were at rock bottom—that’s when people truly connect. That's when we go from being just another "successful" person to being someone they can learn from.
I remember this vividly from my own experience during my first EO forum training. We had to create lifelines—literally drawing out the lowest and highest points of our lives on paper. Sharing my story, especially the parts I’d hidden away, was uncomfortable. I talked about my parents’ divorce, getting arrested twice when I was 19, and even the time I worked at a strip club, taking out the trash—a humbling and humiliating moment that I never thought I’d share with anyone. Yet, when I opened up about these struggles, the response was overwhelming. People connected with my story on a personal level, and I learned that being open about my past could have a powerful, positive effect on others.
This leads to one of my biggest takeaways: Your lows have a purpose.
These vulnerable moments don’t make you weak; they make you human.
When you use them as teaching tools, they become the most impactful parts of your message.
My story got picked up by the Atlanta Journal and Constitution, not for my business achievements but for the raw, real experiences I shared. That story became the most shared article in their "Secrets of Success" column. It taught me that sharing those "messy" moments, those times when I was at my lowest, is what actually resonates with people.
So, how do you embrace this in your own life or business?
First, stop being ashamed of your failures. Instead, look at them as opportunities for growth, both for yourself and for others. The most powerful leaders, speakers, and entrepreneurs I know are the ones who can say, “I messed up, but here’s how I bounced back.” Post-traumatic growth is real. You don’t just have to get through your mess; you can grow from it, and you can help others grow by sharing your journey.
To leave you with a couple of thoughts: You either win or you learn. You never lose. Every setback teaches you something, and every mess has a message. So the next time you’re feeling broken, remember, that’s where your brilliance lies.
Let's keep moving forward together, sharing the highs and the lows. Your story could be the one that helps someone else rise.
Listen to the full podcast episode where Justin King and I discuss this concept here.
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